We recently received feedback from the same individual, first regarding Session One and then a week later, on Session Two. The contrast was striking (have a look).
“Listening to you takes a huge leap of faith. I find myself struggling to absorb what you’re saying. I feel a defiance in me that says ‘I don’t want anyone telling me about how I live my life.’ What are we left with without our story—this mix of being responsible, working hard and living the ups and downs of life? Am I missing something here? It feels confusing and scary to be asked to let that go. Part of me is listening to your messages and reading the quotes. It all rings true, and yet this rebellion builds up.”
“I like the way this is unfolding. It's helping me a lot already. When I sold my house last year and got on the road, it was a huge change. I imagined it being a great adventure but strangely enough, I struggled. I didn't have a narrative for this or it didn't fit the narrative I had. You see how you're helping me understand the shackles of looking for a story. Which I totally didn't understand until now.
Much of the familiar and the routine of my life was gone. And what little there was, I clutched at for dear life. By doing so, it robbed me of the very adventure I was seeking. It's as if I needed to create a new story that would fit with the persona that defined me. And I couldn't find that story. A bit like a boat in the middle of the ocean drifting. A part of me loving this a lot, this unknown creating itself in the moment every day but still feeling adrift.
I couldn't understand what was happening. I didn't miss my old house or that life. But I didn't have a narrative for the new one. The happiest I am now is when I let things happen. The joy of work that pops up, much of it unexpected, invented in the moment and loving every minute. The joy of my travels and visiting friends, family in the moment. More meaningful and special.
Then there are those days when I find myself alone, which I love but again I'd be grasping for a routine. My coffee, my breakfast, my dishes, order of some sort... My brain then would go on overdrive trying to pull me into my old narrative of dutiful and purposeful. So I did work that I don't even like. Or let my mind chastise me for all that I'm not doing.
Status, house, stuff as defining characteristics of me, I don't really have those things anymore. Sometimes I feel the pull to go back there, to reimagine myself there again but quickly I recoil and rebel. I want to fully live this adventure. It's so close that I could touch it or grab it. I feel like a little kid learning how to live newly. With curiosity. And amazing freedom.”